Wednesday, August 24, 2016

Spark Finds Fuzz


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Fuzz was exhausted. He had struggled futilely for hours against the sinews the Gobblers had bound him with. His wrists and ankles had been quite raw for a good long while. He was desperately worried for Rose and Lukus, and in spite of his years as a decorated soldier, he was in a losing battle with panic. At last, weariness came on him in such a way that he had no grasp of his passage into a fitful slumber.
He was writhing and rolling about in the throes of a nightmare about the Gobblers returning to enslave him. They wrestled and kicked him and cut him up with jabs from their spear points, loading him into one of their carts. As the terror became unbearable, Fuzz heard someone amongst them call out his name over and over. "How do Gobblers know my name?" he bellowed, rolling face up as he opened his eyes. "I can't see!"
"That's because it's after dark, Fuzz."
"Who...?"
"I'm Spark, Fuzz. You know, Spark!"
"Oh! Thanks be! We're delivered! Could you be so kind as to...?"
"Loosen your bindings? Absolutely. Pardon me, it's so dark, I'll have to..." said Spark as he conjured a bright green mage light between the palms of his hands. He set to at once, gnawing and picking at Fuzz's sinews. "Ah. Got that one. You'll have to roll over."
"You know Spark, it's been so long, I'd nearly forgotten that you could do that sort of thing," said Fuzz, as he licked at a freed wrist.
"Oh, it languishes. I was born with it, but I'm so feebly endowed, I don't fool with it for much of anything. Actually I don't remember having done anything with it in front of you before. Say. How'd you end up out here? Gobblers, I'd reckon, but I can't imagine you allowing yourself to get caught. Can you stand?"
"Whoa!" said Fuzz, pitching forward onto his knees. "Like a round bottomed bucket. I don't have any feeling in 'em yet, either. Yea, Gobblers! I..."
"'Scuse Fuzz, there's a little chocolate creek right here. Let's get you a drink. So. You were saying about the Gobblers? What were you doing out here?"
"Taking care of unfinished business in the service of the crown as Captain of the Royal Guard of Niarg, would you believe. And I still don't have it taken care of."
"What?"
"I was escorting the very prince and princess of Niarg to the sea to escape Ugleeuh, when we were waylaid by the sticky little curses."
"And they captured the prince and princess?"
"Almost certainly, but we were separated by my trying to divert them. They got me too quick. Rose and Lukus couldn't have had enough time to escape."
"Rose and Lukus. I'll bet they're the two Ugleeuh had with her this last spring when the Chocolate Volcano blew. She brought them along when she came up the mountain to insult and threaten me."
"They're her niece and nephew, would you believe?"
"No kidding. Why, they're nice looking kids."
"Well Queen Minuet, who's quite lovely, is Ugleeuh's half sister. And I've lost her kids for her, unless I come up with something immediately," said Fuzz as he rolled off his haunches and picked up an ankle to lick. "And I surely don't know how I'm going to do that. A thousand to one, they've taken them straight to the Gobbler castle, and that place is a fortress, quite a bastion indeed, bristly with little pike men all over, and a moat full of chocodiles. I couldn't have managed by myself back when I was a man at arms, let alone now that I'm a bear without arms. I've nothing with me, not even my miserable little dress dirk which is in a trunk in my den."
"Gobblers are nasty critters, all right," said Spark as he carefully enlarged a mage light and set it upon the ground between them to glow like a campfire. "Their young highnesses will never escape without help."
"So, will you help me rescue them? It's either the two of us or nobody."
"I hate Gobblers. They've taken over all the very best chocolate licks. I've always got bruises all over from their slings and rock candy."
"Then let's get 'em!" said Fuzz with a crackle of unexpected ferocity, as he smacked his paw with his fist. "Let's fix 'em! Let's get 'em back for the rock candy and for my awful nap, all tied up. And most of all, help out two splendid young people."
"She stood up to Ugleeuh for me, the princess. 'Rose,' you say she is? Oh, it was nothing really, but right nice of her all the same."
"Then you certainly wouldn't stand to have her abused by those sticky varmints."
"Never!" declared Spark, suddenly straightening upright.
"So what about this magic you never use? What can you do with it in a pinch?"
"I just really don't much."
"Yea, but could you get into the castle with it? Shot 'n' Stop said you're good. He said you disguised yourself as a tree, once. You might disguise yourself as a minstrel or a trader of some sort."
"Well thank you, but you need to keep in mind that my magical ability is quite small, scarcely more than that of a hedge wizard. I could go into the castle under cover of a glamourie, but I've not the power to maintain it for long. It would be risky."
"Can you think of any other way at all?"
"Well no Fuzz, but whatever it is, it's got to be good enough that I don't have to maintain it very long at all. I'll be lucky to manage going straight in and straight out. If I were just a minstrel, I'd have to take forever and seven days to argue my way in and back out." He paced back and forth for several long moments. "You have an awful lot of confidence in me to think I could actually get away with this."
"Ugleeuh!" woofed Fuzz. 
Spark looked up with a jerk and rolled away into the brush, as his mage light went out with a pop.
"No, no! Good grief, Spark. I didn't mean that she's here. I mean, what about you making yourself look like Ugleeuh? That would cause the Gobblers to let you in and out right smart. Don't you think?"
Spark eased back to where he'd been sitting and let another large mage light come to life from between his cupped hands.
Fuzz saw that his hands were trembling. "You all right?
"Do you have any idea what Ugleeuh will do to me if she discovers this little ruse?" said Spark, holding his hands still by clamping them between his knees. "I'll be lucky if she seals me up inside my cave until I rot."
"Sure thing. And me with you, no doubt. But we can't just leave Rose and Lukus in the hands of those marshmallow suckers. You know how Gobblers treat captives, Spark."
"I know you're absolutely right," said Spark with a great shudder. "Yeap, yip! Me as Ugleeuh. That's the best we're going to get. Just give me a bit to get used to the idea. I don't suppose you've ever heard of Lizzie? She was one of my clan and had a passion for marshmallows. Greedigut had his fat little slugs capture her and then he killed her slowly by forcing her to slave endlessly on next to no food while they made a routine of beating her senseless. No one should be thrall to a Gobbler," he said, as his voice went shrill and rasping. 
Fuzz jerked back with a gasp. Before him stood Ugleeuh. "Wow! Mercy! My very word! Excellent, Spark. If I didn't know it was you, I'd know old Dungbag was standing right where you are. The Gobblers will never know it's you."
"I was hoping you'd say that." he said, and with an odd wavering of the air about him, he resumed his normal visage. "Being Ugleeuh really saps my zip. I'll have to get as close as I possibly can to the Gobbler castle before casting my illusion. Then, maybe I can keep it up long enough. Besides, that way there'll be less chance that the real Ugleeuh will soar overhead and see me. Well. I see no reason why I shouldn't be underway."
"Good thinking. Hey, thank you. And good luck. I'll be right here until you're back."
"Ta-ta!" said Spark with a flutter of eyelashes, as he flashed Ugleeuh's Face for his own, before vanishing into the dark in the direction of the Gobbler's fortified keep.
Ch. 22, The Collector Witch (Click on Title or Image to Download From Amazon)The_Collector_Witch_Cover_for_Kindle
Carol Marrs Phipps and Tom Phipps

Monday, August 22, 2016

Who is Queen Spitemorta?



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Queen Spitemorta of Goll is the beautiful raven haired daughter of the witch known as Ugleeuh, the granddaughter of the evil sorceress Demonica and the mother of Abaddon. She is secretly given by Ugleeuh to King Brutelee and Queen Bee of Goll to raise. As soon as she is grown, she poisons Brutlee and Bee, assumes the throne of Goll and marries King James of Loxmere. 
When the news reaches Pennvro on the Dark Continent that Spitemorta is on the throne and has the First Wizard's Great Staff, in Stone Heart, Demonica kills and replaces Abaddon's nanny and begins plying Spitemorta with a strategy of world conquest, which requires finding the Crystal Heart of the Staff in order to have the needed power. In time they do find the Heart and set out to conquer Niarg and the rest of the world, thereby fulfilling the first part of the Elven Prophecy.  

Discovering that Spitemorta is a dangerous sorceress when she destroys her own nation's main cash crop and begins addressing her subjects with crystal skinwelerio├╣ to incite them to go to war with their peaceful neighbors, in The Burgeoning, James hides Abaddon from her and tries to flee Castle Goll. She captures and tortures him and throws him into the dungeon.
Years before, when Spitemorta is still a princess in The Collector Witch, it is she whose vicious rumor sends Rose into the perils of the Chokewoods in search of her identity, and she who takes away the Staff from Ugleeuh's frantic grasp. And in spite of her lifelong reputation for cold bloodedness, she is assumed to be the granddaughter of the benevolent wizard Razzmorten, until far away in the volcanic cauldron of Mount Bed, the great oak tree Longbark touches Abaddon and determines that he is actually the great-grandson of the evil sorcerer Razzorbauch.
The Reaper Witch 01 copyAs her power grows, Spitemorta's fits of wanton destruction and murder soon have the Jutland Elves calling her Baineor Buile Cailli, The Reaper Witch, as they, James,  Abaddon and the diatrymas flee her for their very lives into the Wilderlands.

DoomWith the murder of her husband, King Artamus of Gwael, Queen Spitemorta at last rules the known world. She declares herself Omnipotent Empress and moves into her monstrous new castle in Niarg. And with her tools of power, the Great Staff and Crystal Heart, she believes she is invincible in Doom, the final book in the series.

Carol Marrs Phipps & Tom Phipps

Friday, August 19, 2016

Minuet Sends Herio with Bernard

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The castle barn owl flew in like a ghost from under the ridge pole to pause on a truss, staring at the echoing voices below before giving a couple of circular bobs with his head and lunging into a glide to his nest with his mouse.
"I don't understand, Your Majesty," said Herio, looking anxiously from Razzmorten and Captain Bernard to Minuet. "I'm sworn to protect you. Why must I evacuate? Haven't I proven myself?"
"Oh, Herio," said Minuet, her voice full of admiration as she sat beside him and took up his hand, "a most worthy knight of this house you be, but truth to tell, you're far more than that. Since you are now my adopted son and a potential heir to the throne, you cannot be risked. Besides, I need you to go with Captain Bernard and help protect our people."
"But, King Hebraun charged me to protect you, my Queen...uh, Minuet," he said, casting a hopeful look at Hubba Hubba, who was carefully following everything from Razzmorten's shoulder, "and since you're now my mother, hit's even a family matter."
Hubba Hubba let go of a black feather with a silky snap as he eyed the owl gliding from timber to timber on his way back out. "Queen's got the right of it," he rattled. "We've lost track of Lukus. We reckon he's alive, but we don't know that for sure, and Rose already says she won't sit on the throne. You're 'way more important than just a knight, now that you're part of the House of Niarg, Prince Herio. Got 'o do what she wants this time. Besides, I'd feel better having you with me."
Herio nodded resolutely at Minuet and squared his shoulders.
"You'll do right well, Prince of Niarg," she said with a look of fierce pride. "Go now and keep our people safe." She gave him a quick hug and then took Razzmorten's arm as they rose and filed outdoors, with Hubba Hubba, Pebbles and both their broods, each one of them now in crow form, fluttering along overhead.
The_Burgeoning_Cover_for_KindleGwynt was waiting beside Captain Bernard as the mounted throng surrounding them fell to a hush. Herio found his stirrup, threw his leg over the cantle and as soon as the crows had all found their places, nodded at Bernard. At a grand and silent wave from Bernard, the multitude began ambling toward the gate. Herio did not look back, but he could feel Minuet's eyes on him for a very long time.






   
 Ch. 38, The Burgeoning
Carol Marrs Phipps & Tom Phipps

Wednesday, August 17, 2016

Fairy Tongue


Fairy Queen




Fairy Ring


Our green haired Fairies including Meri Greenwood speak what the people of Niarg know as Archaic Modern Niarg, the ancestor of what they were speaking at the time of our epic tale. It sounds like some sort of Germanic or Nordic language, yet it is quite easy to understand and it makes the Fairies come to life.
 
Green Man
What Archaic Modern Niarg happens to be is Middle English with most of the obsolete words eliminated so that the uninitiated modern reader can read it without difficulty. It is no harder to read than a note full of misspellings passed by grammar school kids, yet it would be understood at once by people in the London area, six hundred years ago, since we have based its spelling, grammar and word order on the writings of John Wycliffe and Geoffrey Chaucer. 

Humans and Fairies dancing 'round A Fairy Ring 
Thirty years ago, I learnt to read Middle English using the rules of pronunciation based on a vowel shift which was thought to have occurred by the widely respected E. T. Donaldson and others, which made the language patently incomprehensible to the ear, and made Chaucer's poetry not rhyme very well. As a Botany major, I had no stake in revering his work and I didn't think he supported his claim very well. So, I started reading it with Appalachian vowels and found that it not only rhymed much better, it was now easy to understand when one listened to it.
Another Fairy Ring 
When I read some Middle English to my Navajo students, they thought it was eerie because it sounded like a foreign language except that they could understand it perfectly well.
 
Green Man
Please have a look at some of the chapters in The Burgeoning and let us know what you think.

Lovely Woodland Fairy Ring





Tom Phipps

Monday, August 15, 2016

Ugleeuh's Mad Peppermint World




 Ugleeuh is a beautiful raven haired young woman who is the half sister of Queen Minuet of the kingdom of Niarg. She is raised by the good wizard Razzmorten Dewin, and throughout her life is thought to be his daughter by a brief marriage to the evil sorceress Demonica. In Good Sister, Bad Sister, she falls under the influence of her wicked uncle Razzorbauch, who makes her a partner of sorts in his sukere enterprise.
Razzorbauch appropriates the Forest Primeval, a vast virgin oak wilderness and burns off a substantial part of the middle of it to establish a great plantation in order to produce the seriously addicting sweetener, sukere. He allows the un-burnt forest surrounding his plantation to remain standing, but he magically alters all of the oak (Quercus) trees, turning them into deadly choke oaks (Pseudoquercus horridus R.) to discourage visitors.

Ugleeuh becomes hopelessly addicted to sukere, and though she remains an active sukere peddler to promote their enterprise, she tires of Razzorbauch's overbearing influence and takes to living by herself in a cottage in her own part of the forest. When she tries to poison Queen Minuet and her husband King Hebraun, the crown banishes her to her cottage and has Razzmorten keep her there by putting up magical barriers.
Ugleeuh spends the rest of her life alone, turning into a sallow hag from the ravages of her sukere 
addiction. To keep from going mad from loneliness, she begins magically altering her surroundings at once. She turns all of the choke oaks into peppermint trees (Mentha lignumpiperita R.), with ludicrous red and white barber pole striped trunks. And by the time that Rose and Lukus find her in The Collector Witch, she is more dangerous than ever, living with a bloated crow, too obese to fly and a palsied cow with colored teats which give flavored milk, and she has managed to turn most of the remaining animals of the woods into talking enchantments, all addicted to sukere. 
 
Carol Marrs Phipps & Tom Phipps

Friday, August 12, 2016

Ocker the Raven





"Now look!" cried Demonica. "You knocked my flowers into the syrup, fowl!"
"So? Stop waving your swyving arms, then. Besides, I want you to do something for me..."
"What, then?"
"I want you to make hit so that I can travel anywhere I want by spell, instead of just to here and back," he said as he wiped off his beak and gave himself a thorough shake.
"For what? What's your news?"
"I already gave hit to you when you said you gave me the powers of a swyving hedge wizard..."
"So you suddenly think I should pay you twice, aye?"
"Listen, queinte!" he squawked, thrusting himself up to bristle like a pine cone. "I've learnt from a right true source that magic powers can't be given. You're either born with them, or you're not. And I was, so you knew hit when you tricked me."
"I'll pay you well for the name of who told you."
Ocker is the only raven known who is able to use magic. In Good Sister, Bad Sister, he lives with his wife Urr-Urr at their nest atop the great bluff overlooking the keep of the evil wizard Razzorbauch. Based on the behavioral studies of ravens by ethologist Bernd Heinrich and the folklore of Native Americans and Celts, Ocker is a profane, amoral huckster, who is forever wheedling things he wants from powerful people in exchange for tidbits of choice information. He does routine business with Demonica the sorceress as well as Razzorbauch, but he also has occasional dealings with Meri Greenwood the Fairy and the Jutland Elves. When Ocker sells the whereabouts of Greenwood's lover to Razzorbauch as well as to Greenwood, the lover and her sisters are doomed to live in Mount Bed forever. Even so, it is Ocker who ends up saving the day.
We seldom use profanities in our writing, but Ocker is a most profane character, so we have him swearing exclusively with obsolete English words. The above passage is as foul and graphic as any swearing you'll ever hear on the street.




Carol Marrs Phipps & Tom Phipps  

Wednesday, August 10, 2016

The White Witch Rides a Diatryma

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Diatryma - Diatryma gigantia R., ten foot tall, flightless birds, members of the Thunderbird (Adar Taranus) Dynasty which originally escaped extinction by the Mwyaf Fawr Llosg ordiatryma Greatest Burning, when the rest of the Dynasty was exterminated, only to mysteriously become extinct a few million years later. They were accidentally revived from fine Eocene shales by the wizard Razzorbauch when he penetrated the Earth's crust while forming the magma chamber for the Fudge Volcano. They are omnivorous, opportunistic feeders that are capable of downing and dismembering small ungulates. They are covered with deep iridescent green plumage. Their tail feathers and imagesprimary flight feathers have brilliant red and yellow patches on each feather's trailing blade that remain completely hidden unless the bird is displaying. Their bony tails are not entirely fused into a pygostyle as in modern birds, but rather consist of a pygostylic terminus at the end of ten un-fused vertebrae, giving the birds a fan of feathers that can be waved about on the end of a flexible tail. There is nearly no sexual dimorphism, though males tend to be a few percent heavier and have deeper voices than the females. They are exceptionally intelligent, having a brain cavity of about 650cc, or roughly half the volume of modern humans. However, being far less fatty than a mammalian brain, this is a very respectable computer. Possibly due to natural selection pressures favoring the keeping track of stashes of food morsels, diatrymas seem to have little or no barrier between the conscious and subconscious minds and have instantaneous recall of all the details that they once observed during any previous experience.Diatryma_by_ministerart
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The_Burgeoning_Cover_for_KindleMary the White Witch's mounts and closest friends are Ceidwad the female diatryma, who is the wife of Lladdwr and the mother of Arwr, their cockerel. Razzmorten describes these three as the most intelligent beings he has ever been in the presence of, and they become key characters in the tale of The Heart of the Staff, (books three through six, Stone HeartThe BurgeoningReaper Witch and Doom). Ceidwad and Lladder were brought back to life by accident by the evil Wizard Razzorbauch and were raised by the Fairy sisters in Mount Bed before their association with Mary. Perhaps their most stunning talent is being able to listen to a language for a short while and then suddenly start speaking it fluently.
Pageflex Persona [document: PRS0000031_00028]The Reaper Witch 01 copyWhat sorts of birds tower in your imagination? Do they play a role in your dreams?







Carol Marrs Phipps & Tom Phipps