Sunday, August 6, 2017




Our most recent book, Wham! will be featured during my blog tour and interviews.

“WHAM! (Timewalker Book 1)”

Wham by Carol Marrs Phipps

BOOK BLURB:

When the World Alliance seized power from all the governments of the world, they said it was for the greater good. They said it was necessary to unite all the nations of the globe under one banner in order to bring universal peace, equality and prosperity to the world.
To most families throughout the world, the rise of the Alliance and their grandiose promises meant little. They had long grown weary of the lies of the corrupt law-makers and heads of state and were far more concerned with their day-to-day struggles to survive.
The Greenwood family was no exception, and for a time life went on much as it had before the rise of the Alliance. In time, individual cultural and racial identity were outlawed. They said it was for the greater good. They said it was necessary to create a more harmonious, homogenous world community. The Greenwood family adapted.
But then they took away freedom. They made it mandatory for all households and public buildings to have skinwelers, crystal spying balls in every room, in order to watch the people’s every move. They said it was for the greater good. They said it was necessary for public safety and civil order. And the Greenwood family adapted.
But then the state took their family farm and lands and moved them to Gollsport where they had built barracks for all the displaced citizens. They said it was for the greater good. They said the countryside had become contaminated by farm chemicals and the relocation was for their continued health and safety. Once again, the Greenwood family adapted.
But then they came in the night and took away seventeen year-old Tess Greenwood’s entire family. They said it was for the greater good. They said Tess would adapt and in time she would be far better for it.
But Tess cared not for the Alliance’s greater good. She did not adapt. She wanted her family back and vowed to do whatever she must in order to see them again. Little did she know, that to keep her vow, she would have to become a timewalker.

Itinerary for Month of August:
Blog Tour: 8/6/17 – 8/12/17
I will be our “SPOTLIGHT” Author for the entire month of August.
Here is the line-up of my blog tour:
Sunday, 8/6/17
Monday, 8/7/17
Tuesday, 8/8/17 
Wednesday, 8/9/17
Thursday, 8/10/17
Friday, 8/11/17
Saturday, 8/12/17
“Bring On The Spotlight” Radio Show: TBA
“Who’s On The Shelf?” Interview: TBA
“SPOTLIGHT” Support Day: TBA

More details will be available daily, HERE: https://ravereviewsbynonniejules.wordpress.com/spotlight-authors/

Friday, August 4, 2017

Spitemorta Has Another Tantrum

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When Spitemorta returned to her bower in Castle Niarg just before midnight, she changed back her throat with the Heart and sent orders to the kitchen for roast duck with sour cabbage, dripping pudding and cider, even if she had to stay up until nearly sunrise to eat it. She did not mind. She could use the time to get rid of that offensive quart of sukee which reminded her of Coel, left over from her coronation. She had begun to find it odd that Demonica had not gotten in her way with her comments as she sauntered about, dangling her bottle, gloating about what she had set in motion.
She soon discovered that cider on top of the sukee nearly had her vomiting on her steaming plate of duck and pudding, so she daubed at the corners of her mouth, threw herself across the bed and slept until the middle of the afternoon. She rose, had half of a toad in the hole and a pinch of cold duck breast and sour cabbage and went back to bed until the following morning. She spent the next two days in her quarters, very busy with ordering about pages and hired help as she oversaw the clearing away of Minuet's sheep shed and apple orchard for a jousting field and hand gonne range. She was beginning to think that she might have managed to leave Demonica behind at Oilean Gairdin. "Good! If that be the case," she said, but she felt oddly anxious.    
When she caught herself wishing that she had her grandmother to talk to, she grabbed up 2lflaggonthe empty sukee flagon and hurled it at the wall with a grating squeal. Instead, the contrary bottle went whirling out over the balcony to go bouncing end over end along the paving stones, six storeys down. When she heard no breaking glass, the rushed to the balustrade hoping to find that she had hit someone on the head. "Damn you Grandmother!" she shouted when she saw no one about. "You won't let me have any fun..."
"Well it is nice to see you giving me the credit, dear," said Demonica from right beside her, peering down at the bottle.   
"Why did you have to show up, Grandmother? It was a relief having you gone for three days."
"Odd that you kept seeming anxious for someone to talk to, or am I mistaken?"
"Yes you are."
imagesdemonica"Or am I merely the wrong party? Perhaps you were hoping for your handsome general..."
"No!" shouted Spitemorta. Suddenly she smiled. "But I do have a thing or two he needs to find out," she said quietly. "I mean, I think my trolls are going to be right useful, 'way more than the stupid heathens from Gwael. Don't you?”
Mindful of how Spitemorta's voice carried, Demonica meandered back inside and sat on the bed. “It may have been unwise to leave Oilean Gairdin without appearing before the Dyrney as you agreed, dear,“ she said. "And you probably don’t want General Coel knowing what you make of his army, either.” 
Spitemorta cast her a slit-eyed stare. “Poop!" she said, taking a chair by the bed that faced away from her. "The stupid trolls won't even notice once they've had an Elf roast or two. And you know as well as I do that the Gwaels have been nothing but inferior. Let’s see how they like having my brute son and his trolls wipe out both the Elves and the Beaks when they've utterly failed to do so after all this time. I think I'll quite enjoy rubbing Veyfnaryr's victories in the good general’s arrogant face.”
“If you say so.”
“I certainly do say so. Coel needs to be put in his place. A bit of humiliation is just the thingimages (3)x for him.”
“That does sound like fun," said Demonica with a deep and speculative nod. "But are you quite sure that you want to risk the father of your child losing face in front of all who might enjoy his lesson?”
"What utter nonsense are you going on about?" cried Spitemorta, springing to her feet at once to begin pacing. "You know very well that Coel's not related in any way at all to my children."
“Well certainly not to any of your grown children…”
“Nor to any future children, believe me..."
“Too late,” said Demonica. And with that she vanished.
hyacinths-fresh-cut-garden-lattelisa-blog-02"Damn you!" shrieked Spitemorta, grabbing up and flinging a vase of hyacinths, soaking the corner of the bed where Demonica had been sitting.
A peal of Demonica's laughter rose and died away in the air across the room. 
Spitemorta grabbed a footstool and hove it after the sound, only to have it fly as wide as the bottle had, knocking her new marble bust of herself off its pedestal and breaking off its head. With a rasping sob, she fell to her knees and covered her face. A mourning dove called from somewhere just beyond her balcony as she rocked and shuddered.
Running footsteps tramped to a halt outside her door and threw it open. "Your Omnipotence!" cried her page when he saw her on the floor. "Are you in peril?"
"Why not at all, Pissant," she said with all the smiling radiance of a lady getting to her feet Pearsons-renaissance-shoppe-childs-costume-300x300in a sunny garden of daffodils. “Go to the kitchen, if you would, and tell old hefty
Bethan that I want hot cinnamon rolls with today's churned butter and a nice hot pot o' tea. And when you're done with that, go find General Coel and send him here immediately. Then, return to the kitchen and see that my tea gets to me hot.
"And now..." she said soothingly as she unfastened the Heart from the Staff and gently passed it over his lips, erasing his mouth from his face. "This is for daring to walk in on the very empress of all the known world. You'll have to think about it as you run your errand." She turned him to face the mirror with his eyes of horror. "Now. If General Coel comes at once and the tea arrives hot, you may earn back the mouth you need to eat your next meal. Understood? Now go."








Carol Marrrs Phipps & Tom Phipps

Monday, July 31, 2017

Who is Longbark?

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Good_Sister,_Bad_Sis_Cover_for_KindleThe_Burgeoning_Cover_for_KindleLongbark is a female everwaking oak who was the oldest known tree in the Forest Primeval, possibly as old as Meri Greenwood himself. The evil sorcerer Razzorbauch feared her power, and so uprooted her and transplanted her in Bedd Chwiorydd Tair, or Tomb of the Three Sisters (Towmb of þe Three Susters), an extinct volcano with two craters in the southern Pitmaster's Kettles, when he imprisoned the three Fairy sisters there at the time that he turned the forest into the Chokewoods in Good Sister, Bad Sister The very Great Staff of Power was made from one of her branches as was the powerful stick given to Ocker the raven by Meri Greenwood. It is Longbark to whom the Fairies turn for advice on Abaddon in The Burgeoning and the Damned Baby in The Reaper Witch.

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERAcoast_liveoak_rolled_leaveseverwaking oak - Quercus claudo-ilex R., derwin hollol effro (Old Niarg Standard) (wide awake oak), a dioecious evergreen oak with holly-like elliptical 1" x 2" leaves with spiny toothed margins, glossy dark green above and whitish green below, which suddenly fold along the midrib and collapse at each end of the petiole when exposed to certain thigmatic and electromagnetic stimuli in a manner reminiscent of the mimosa's response to touch. The narrowly oblong 1/4th" x 3/4th" acorns are enclosed by a shallow scaly cap, and are born singly on the end of a stalk. The trees are much the same stature as burr oaks, being thirty to fifty feet tall with a spreading crown somewhat broader than the tree is tall. They are indigenous to very restricted parts of the thinly forested, savanna-like rolling uplands of the Forest Primeval flanking the great Fairy Valley. A number of them, particularly the female known as Longbark, are claimed to possess a magical intelligence which the Fairies regard highly. A number of wizard's staves and rods have been made from Longbark's branches, including the Great Staff of Power. The Fairies make a slightly bitter tea from their leaves which is similar to yerba mate, except that its alkaloid concentration is four to five times as strong as that of mate and must be drunk with milk. The Fairies also make bread which can be kneaded from a glutinous flour made from their acorns.

Friday, July 28, 2017

Ocker the Raven





"Now look!" cried Demonica. "You knocked my flowers into the syrup, fowl!"
"So? Stop waving your swyving arms, then. Besides, I want you to do something for me..."
"What, then?"
"I want you to make hit so that I can travel anywhere I want by spell, instead of just to here and back," he said as he wiped off his beak and gave himself a thorough shake.
"For what? What's your news?"
"I already gave hit to you when you said you gave me the powers of a swyving hedge wizard..."
"So you suddenly think I should pay you twice, aye?"
"Listen, queinte!" he squawked, thrusting himself up to bristle like a pine cone. "I've learnt from a right true source that magic powers can't be given. You're either born with them, or you're not. And I was, so you knew hit when you tricked me."
"I'll pay you well for the name of who told you."
Ocker is the only raven known who is able to use magic. In Good Sister, Bad Sister, he lives with his wife Urr-Urr at their nest atop the great bluff overlooking the keep of the evil wizard Razzorbauch. Based on the behavioral studies of ravens by ethologist Bernd Heinrich and the folklore of Native Americans and Celts, Ocker is a profane, amoral huckster, who is forever wheedling things he wants from powerful people in exchange for tidbits of choice information. He does routine business with Demonica the sorceress as well as Razzorbauch, but he also has occasional dealings with Meri Greenwood the Fairy and the Jutland Elves. When Ocker sells the whereabouts of Greenwood's lover to Razzorbauch as well as to Greenwood, the lover and her sisters are doomed to live in Mount Bed forever. Even so, it is Ocker who ends up saving the day.
We seldom use profanities in our writing, but Ocker is a most profane character, so we have him swearing exclusively with obsolete English words. The above passage is as foul and graphic as any swearing you'll ever hear on the street.




Carol Marrs Phipps & Tom Phipps  

Wednesday, July 26, 2017

Hubba Hubba Versus the Stinky Beefy Boy Part Three

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Part Three
Herio could scarcely take his eyes off the sky long enough to find his stirrup as he thanked Mrs. Gweld for the pie and said his goodbyes. "I wonder if they passed by while Icherry_pie_case_for_the_ipad_mini-rf252931f447246c89e9010b93c82d7d7_w9wmu_8byvr_324
was inside," he said once he had Gwynt underway, following Sophie on her unicorn to
Castlegoll Road.
"Well, this is it," she said, hesitating as he doffed his hat and yellow-peasant-costume-skirtsteered Gwynt onto the road.
"She's pretty," he thought. He looked back to see her disappear around the corner. "Actually, she's very pretty. And now that I think about it, she must have been interested
in me. My! Could that be why she came with her unicorn instead of her brothers?" He
gave a deep sigh and resumed combing the heavens.
Suddenly something was fluttering in his ear, giving him a start. "Herio!" chirped Tweet, landing on his shoulder and springing into flight again. "You've got to hurry! Hubba OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERAHubba's been shot and the evil boy's going to eat him!"
"No! Is he dead?"
"He was alive last I knew, but..."
"Good! Show me. Let's go Gwynt!"
"It was actually on this very road, just two farms south of here, where he was shot. We have to wait there for either Chirp or Squeak to show up when they find where the boy took him."
At once, Herio had Gwynt pounding away at a full gallop. Soon his side was cramping from all the bouncing pie.
"Herio! Tweet! Hoy!" came a wee tweet from up ahead.
housesparrow-seedeater-004"Squeak!" chirped Tweet. "Is Hubba Hubba still alive?"
"Hurry! I'll show you!"
Away they raced, down the road and through the very same fields crossed by Frankin and Hubba Hubba. At last they splashed through the creek and had zigzagged nearly across the orchard. "You're here!" squeaked Chirp, dropping down from the sky, halting them at once. "See that house through the trees? They took him inside in a game bag, but I think they have him in a box. He's cape-cod-crowXXhurt, Herio. I don't know how bad. The biggest boy right yonder, see? He beaned him on the head and knocked him right out of the sky. They were going to dress him for supper..."
"And they haven't yet?" said Herio.
"I don't think so, 'cause the lady and the boys got to fussing something awful."
"How do you reckon they'd take my walking up and asking for their supper?"
"Not very well. They've been shouting at each other the whole time I've been here."
"Maybe I could offer them some money for Hubba," he said, glancing away at the house. "They look kind of hard up."
"They look like they might rob you..." squeaked Chirp.
"Oh surely not, but if it eases your mind, I'll dump out most of our money in the rotted out place in this old peach tree." He poured out his coins, put away his bag and threw his leg over Gwynt. "Well, let's go get Hubba, boys."
images (2)Frankin trotted out several rods to meet them. "You better hold it right there, fellow!" he hollered as he wrapped a stone in the patch of his sling. "We don't know you at all, so that makes you ones a trespasser..."
"Frankin!" echoed the cry from the house. "How'd you get that sling? You bring it back right now! You hear? And don't you dare talk to strangers that a-way unless tunic-in-the-middle-agesthere's a good reason!"
"I'm right sorry," said Herio. "I certainly didn't mean to make you think I was trespassing. I'm just passing through on my way to Castle Goll, but I got separated from my crow..."
"Crow?" said Frankin without so much as glancing back at his mother. "No crow here, fellow, so just turn around. Go!" He swung his rock back and forth like he might fling it around and throw it.
"Frankin! You heard me!" came the cry from the house.
Frankin did not bat an eye nor turn around, but the shouting woman must have had his attention, for suddenly Kink dashed out of the bushes and yanked away the sling.
"You stinking cachu face, Poopkink!" shouted Frankin, grabbing his fingers. "That hurt!"
Bartolomé_Esteban_Perez_Murillo_004"We got a crow shut up in the house, mister!" cried Kink, dancing about warily, well out of Frankin's reach.
"Yea!" cried Dink, running up. "He talks and Mom's afraid of him!"
"This time you gwrteithiau have really gone and done it!" cried Frankin, going red in the face. "I'm going to pound you..."
"Not while I'm alive!" howled the Mother, grabbing him by the arm. "And you're done with slings for a good while, buster!"
Frankin tried to wrench free, but she gave him a shake.
"I'm man of the house now that Dad and Alwin's gone!" he wailed. "You said so!"
"Yea? Well, when you can't live up to it, then you're just a little boy, aren't you? And if that makes you disappointed, kid-o, hit makes me doubly so. Now let's work you back up to woodpile2being a man again. You get yourself around back and chop me a proper rick o' wood!"
"But there's a whole pile of wood 'round...Aaaah!"
"And there's a proper red welt acrost the back o' your leg, too!" she hissed as she got him good with a whistling switch. She watched him scuttle out of sight. When she heard chopping commence, she retied her apron. "Now I'm right sorry for that, young man. He's turned mean since his daddy was kilt at Ash Fork. Now he didn't even give you ones the chance to give your name, 'fore he started in, did he? He's Frankin, I'm Mrs. Simms and these two be Wilmer and Jake..."
"I'm Herio, ma'am," he said, thinking to remove his hat.gty_black_crow_jt_130504_wg
"Well, we've been kind o' afraid of your bird. We didn't know what to think. He bit me good every time I tried to get him down, and he was swearing like a sailor..."
"Sounds like Hubba Hubba, all right..."
"That's his name?"
Herio nodded.
"And you taught him to curse like that?"
"No, but I've learnt a bunch from him..."
"You know, that's one lie I think I believe," she said with a laugh as she turned to Kink and Dink. "You ones run inside and bring this nice young fellow his bird."
They raced to the door and darted inside. Immediately they were back outside again, with xococava-broken-platesthe door slammed fast behind them. They looked up at Herio with wide eyes.
"He's deliberately knocking things off shelves..." said Kink.
"And he said when you get here you're going to cut off our heads," said Dink with an uneasy swallow.
Herio put his ear to the door.
"And when he does show up, "cawed Hubba Hubba amidst the crash of dishes, "you all will wish you were far, far, away! He'll make you pay! He'll cut off your grubby little fingers! He'll...!"
"He'll come and take you with him!" hollered Herio as he threw open the door.
"Herio!" cawed Hubba Hubba, swooping down from some shelves to walk up the front of his shirt as he madly beat his wings. "You did it! You saved me! They were going to eat me!" He flapped his way up onto Herio's shoulder to drop open his beak and go quite skinny. "You mean you didn't kill them?"
"Well, no, Hubba, they returned you in one piece... In fact, ma'am?" he said, taking out his purse and dumping out some crowns onto the bench by the door. "This is for your dishes."
"Why you ones don't have to..."
"Have you seen how many he broke?"
"Every bloomin' one I could reach," rattled Hubba Hubba as he bristled all over. "And 'one crow (1)piece,' I dispute that. Have you seen the knot on my head?"
"Then you've gained from the experience," said Herio, rolling his eyes for Mrs. Simms.
She nodded and herded her boys back towards the house. "Looks like we both got our hands full," she called with a nod, as she shooed Kink and Dink into the house. "Good luck, you hear?"
"Thank you ma'am, for being good to my bird," said Herio as he got astride Gwynt with Hubba Hubba gaping aghast and three merrily twittering sparrows. They sauntered back through the orchard, pausing long enough to scrape his crowns out of the rotted out hollow in the old tree.
"'Good to my bird?' 'Good to my bird?' You think a knot on my very knitty box, big as my eye, is good to your bird? And what righteous damage, may I ask, did you do in order to be The_Burgeoning_Cover_for_Kindlegood unto them...?"



Carol Marrs Phipps & Tom Phipps

Monday, July 24, 2017

Hubba Hubba Versus the Stinky Beefy Boy, Part 2

Quilt Stone Mountain NC SP 4021
5469802698_278de1b2e3_zthe-brixton-ona-bags-2-560x379The stinky beefy boy slowed to a walk with a skip and happily patted his game bag full of Hubba Hubba. Whistling a giddy tune fit for the tone deaf, he left the path through a gap in the hedge to cut across a freshly ploughed field. Chirp and Squeak followed 'round the outside in the tops of trees grown up in the hedge. The boy scampered through new oats, a meadow and a fresh cow pile, pausing to rinse his feet in a gurgling creek before dashing triumphantly across an orchard to a fiery haired woman and two boys, hoeing in a broad vegetable garden.
504_slingrocks"Mom!" hollered the stinky boy as she bent to pull a weed. "Get wood on the fire! I bagged fresh meat for supper!"
She stood up, brushing the dirt from her skirts and hands.
"Look Mom! I got him with my sling! I knocked 'im clean out of the air! I'm gettin' good, aye?"
"I'll say Frankin," she said, peering into his bag. "I've been watching you get better day by day. This is game to remember, all right, particularly when you may go the rest of your life and not get another on the wing like that."
"So all you think is I just got lucky, isn't hit?"
nVrhp1e"Well Frankin, someone without your sharp eye would certainly have an empty bag right now..."
"Ha!" he crowed with a leap. "I'm really somethin' with my sling, and you know it."
"I've just hung the tea-kettle over the fire," she said, ruffling up his hair. "You could wash up for a nice cup o' tea before you dress your bird, if you don't dally."
Frankin raced to the back door, hung Hubba Hubba on the latch and wheeled 'round to go to the well in time to find his little brothers following. "Hey Poopkink!" he snarled. "If you and Poopdink have to sneak along behind me, don't you dare touch the game bag."
***
tver_angry-crow_7219"Help!" cawed Hubba Hubba, coming to in total blackness. "I'm dead again! I can't see!" He hysterically thrashed and flogged his wings against the insides of the cramped box they had him in, pausing to go light in the head, gasping for want of air.
Someone heard his cries and threw open the box. "Kawk!" he cried as four chubby hands crowded in after him. "Have some respect! Can't you idiots tell I'm wounded here?"
Bartolomé_Esteban_Perez_Murillo_004Both boys squealed and yanked back, dropping the lid on Hubba Hubba.
"Hey! I object! This is abuse! Here I am, smashed in the head..."
"Hit does talk!" they cried in wide-eyed chorus.
"You got it!" shouted Hubba Hubba. "And do you ones listen? Here I am smashed in the head, some drooling gnoff strangles me 'till I black out, maybe die, and here you ones whack me in the head again... Is this the stinkin' Pit, or what? Well?"
Suddenly they lunged at the box. Hubba Hubba exploded into frantic flight about the room, landing on a quilting frame drawn up by twine to the overhead beams. "All right," he rattled. "At least I can see this is some rotten old kitchen, somewhere, and not the Pit. And whatever you two are, I am not some kind of 'it!' I'm one right proud crow and I'm traveling with a young man who ought to here directly to cut off your stinkin' heads for doing this to me...!"
primitive-vintage-wood-box-original-old-paper-fruit-crate-label-Placerville-Maid-Laurel-Leaf-Farm-item-no-b912117-7"Hey you little gwrteithiau!" yelled Frankin as he threw open the door. "What'd I tell you about my game bag? And why weren't you out helping us drive in the six sheep which just now got out in the garden? Which one of you left the gate open anyway...?"
"It's loose!" cried Kink.
"Close the door!" cried Dink.
"I am not an 'it,'" rattled Hubba Hubba.
images (1)"Taran!" shouted Frankin as he slammed the door and began glancing about. "So you not only let the sheep out, you got into my bag and turned the crow loose! If he gets clean away, you'll not only be cachu, I'll find something really disgusting and make you each eat its cachu!"
"He's right over your head," said Dink.
Frankin wheeled 'round and looked up. "Mom!" he bellowed, "Come in here and see what they did now!" He lunged and missed Hubba Hubba, whacking the quilting frame madly about on the ends of its short twines.
3021358_1_l (1)"Kawk!" cried Hubba Hubba, as he crouched to hang on
Frankin leaped again, snapping a twine and knocking down the frame to smash a 17-cottage-cheesehuge crock of soupy cottage cheese onto the floor.
"You bloated idiot!" cawed Hubba Hubba, springing into flight about the room. He spied a board nailed across the timbers and landed on that with his back to the ceiling. "You stinking armpit maggot..."
"So you're some kind of magic crow, aye?" he said, taking out his sling. "Well it doesn't matter, bird-o. You'll never get out of this room, 'cause when I knock you down, I'm goin' 'o jerk your ugly head out o' your shoulders!"
"No!" cried Kink and Dink together.
"Frankin!" cried their mom as she stepped in the door to go apoplectically wide eyed. "My stars! That's fifteen gallons of cottage cheese, all over!"
"They did it!" wailed Frankin. "They got into my bag when I told them not to and turned loose the crow. I've got to kill it quick..."
"No!" cried Dink. "Hit's magic...!"
images"Hit talks!" cried Kink.
"And they've gotten windy as kites in the process, too, I see. Well you two, what have I told you about making up things...?"
"But it's true!" wailed Kink. "Frankin knows it, too!"
"I think you two need to take this stack of bowls and scoop up as much clean cheese as you can get off the floor for your next several meals. Then, you need to mop up every bit of what's left."
"But we aren't making it up!" wailed Dink, as his mom thrust a stack of bowls into his arms and steered him toward the slumping mound of cheese and crock chards.
"Now, freak bird, hit's your turn," said Frankin, fitting a stone into his sling.
"Kawk!" cried Hubba Hubba. "Lady, lady! Please listen to your little fellows!"
"That's not the least bit amusing, Frankin," she said, wheeling 'round to glare at him.
"But I didn't..."
"No, no, no, no!" cawed Hubba Hubba. "I did! I'm not some game animal to be beaned and chucked in the kettle. Hey! I've got brains here."
"Mercy!" she gasped. "You do talk!"
crow"Hit's a trick, Mom, said Frankin.
"Right. So where's the minstrel puppeteer?"
"Come on, Mom! Somebody taught him to talk..."
"Absolutely!" rattled Hubba Hubba. "Just like they did you, only I didn't need to be taught how to think, and you've yet to manage."
"Don't touch the bird," she said, snatching away his sling. "Do not harm him, understand?"
"But he'll get away!"
"We're going to be real good to him 'till we figure him out," she said. "Now go fetch me a good sized box to put him in, and make sure there are a right smart amount of air holes in it."
"Air holes?" cried Hubba Hubba. "What kind of 'real good' to me is that? No wonder you haven't taught maggot boy here how to think, yet! And I don't care what he brings back, you're going to have to come up here and get me!"






Carol Marrs Phipps & Tom Phipps