Tuesday, January 5, 2016

Your Butt's Too Big

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Years ago, when I taught at Ch'ooshgai Community School on the Navajo Nation, the students there had a reputation for playing rough, but when it came to it, they had big hearts. Like students at all schools, they resented the Special Ed students for being given lighter work for the same grades. However when a little Down's syndrome girl showed up at school, she became a celebrity.
Yvonne was one of the handful of students who stayed in the Special Ed room instead of attending at least some regular classes. In spite if this, like every other student in school, she was supposed to take her seat and stay there when she came to class, and that meant that she was supposed to be in her seat when the door was open and kids were in the hall.
That was an utter impossibility for Yvonne. She was endlessly in the doorway with her hopelessly smeared glasses, swinging her leg like a ballerina at the bar, waving and calling out cheerfully to the passing students. I would hear time and again from across the hall: "Yvonne! Where are you supposed to be?" and, "Yvonne, take your seat!" Kids liked her, even if they did call her names.
One day, she grandly sang out a little rhyme:
"Your butt's too big, your butt's too big,
No matter what you do, your butt's too big..."
"Yvonne! Get to your seat, now!"
But before everyone was in class, I heard:
"Your butt's too big, your butt's too big,
No matter what you do, your butt's too big..."
Soon, passing students were taking up the chant each time they saw her in the doorway. "Whose butt is too big?" became the burning student question. The Special Ed teacher's? She's got a big enough butt, they said. No. It had to be the old witch from the Office. Or was it a particular student? They would ask Yvonne.
And her reply was:
"Whose butt's too big? Whose butt's too big?
If you don't know, your butt's too big.
Your butt's too big, your butt's too big,
No matter what you do, your butt's too big..."
One noon, Yvonne came marching down the hallway with all of the verve and poise of a first string cheerleader, followed by the entire student body, chanting at the top of their lungs, the kids near the walls pounding the locker doors in time:
"Your butt's too big! your butt's too big!
No matter what you do, your butt's too big...!"
The following noon, the Special Ed door stayed closed. There was a brief interlude of students chanting: "Y-vonne! Y-vonne! Y-vonne! Y-vonne!" but every noon thereafter, the Special Ed door remained shut. Even so, I seldom heard a day go by without at least someone chanting a verse of Your Butt's too Big, all the way to the end of the school year.
So in spite of the best efforts of Special Ed, Yvonne may well have become the most specially remembered of all the students in her class.
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Tom Phipps